


It could have gone worse.

by nubbyknight



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, Awkward First Times, Bulges and Nooks, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, First Time, Hermaphroditic Trolls, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Purring Trolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 12:28:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nubbyknight/pseuds/nubbyknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Karkat have been dating for a while. And after extensive research on eachothers anatomy, it's about time for a hands on lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It could have gone worse.

**Author's Note:**

> Dave's not as cool as he thinks he is and Karkat gets impatient.
> 
> Side note:
> 
> Bulge= Tentacle penis  
> Nook=Trollgina  
> Seedflap= Nerve similar to a clitoris
> 
> Not canon, but these are my guesses

The first time he saw it, Dave had squealed; the most unironic, uncool, girlish sound to ever grace his lips. It was short, and red, the same color as Karkat’s angry eyes, and it was fucking moving. No, moving wasn’t quite the right word, since there was no real pattern or rhythm to it, more like **_squirming_**. Sure he’d had his lessons in Xeno-biology, Karkat wouldn't have let him within a mile of his junk until he at least had an idea of what he’d be working with. There weren’t enough diagrams in the world that could have prepared Dave for the actual experience of handling a squirming mass of troll junk.

“Deevuh, hurry the fuck up! Not wait all day.” Karkat’s voice is a raspy snarl as he lays flat on his back, Dave kneeling between his thighs as he stares down the angry looking snake squirming out of his boyfriend’s abdomen. Dave laughs internally at Karkat’s desperation, reminding himself to keep his cool. He wants this; he’d wanted this for far too long to let a little thing **_like a moving fucking octopus monster dong_** to keep him from finally obtaining that sweet Vantas ass. Karkat had been hard as fuck to court. He’d insisted on taking things painstakingly slow, planning out each move like it was another one of his failed battle plans. Dave can’t really blame him though, their bodies and as Karkat so eloquently put it ‘Mating Rituals’ were completely foreign to one another, and taking it slow had probably saved them a lot of embarrassment.  
Although his current situation isn’t at all how he thought it would go.

“Hold your horses, Karkles, I’ve yet to learn the song to soothe this savage beast. As sick as my rhymes are I don’t think they’re the tune this little Philly is dancing for.” This earns him a groan and smack to the arm.

“Did Deevuh call my bulge stupid hoofbeast? You sing to bulge and I bite yours off.” His English was definitely improving, although hearing his garbled phrases would turn most people off, Dave found it fucking adorable, especially when Karkat struggled with a word until he'd get angry and start throwing a hissy fit. 

“Take it as a compliment, babe. Most guys would kill to have their dick compared to a horse.” This does nothing to scorn the scowl adorning Karkat’s kiss swollen lips; instead it draws out another grumble and a darker shade of blush. “Do I just…stroke it or…?”

“Yes! Touch me, dimwit!” By now it had started to retreat back into the little slit just above his nook, his frustration beginning to overwhelm his arousal. Dave takes it as a personal challenge, reaching down to gently squeeze at the base, marveling at the molten heat radiating off the now thrashing appendage. Karkat moans and rolls his hips, eyes fixed on Dave’s hand as though he’s not sure if he trusts it so close to his goods, or scared that he might stop.

Dave slowly starts to stroke it, finding it a little harder than jerking himself. It kept trying to move with his hand, and the strange syrupy gunk spilling around it’s sides made it rather hard to get a good hold of. Troll dicks were almost **_nothing_** like humans. A few diagrams even had flared out fronds or barbed ends. Comparatively Karkat’s was rather plain. It was long and slick, shaped similarly to an actual tentacle, only the base flared out into what the books called the ‘knot’ which was supposed to hold their genetic fluids. No barbs, or fronds, or suction cups, which made Dave a little less apprehensive about touching it.

As he speeds up his ministrations the tentacle like appendage grabs onto his wrist, **_it actually fucking grabs him._** He gasps, almost yanking his hand away until he hears the heated mewl from Karkat. There’s no fucking way he’s going to miss out on hearing more of that delicious melody, as long as it doesn't try to rip his hand off or anything, but judging by the vice like grip, letting go is the last thing it plans on doing. The breathy little noises Karkat so desperately tries to hold back spurs Dave on enough to give a few more tugs before Karkat’s hand grabs for his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“Off.” He pleads in a failed attempt at sounding domineering, nodding towards Dave’s boxers, which had managed to stay on up until now. Dave raises an eyebrow but obliges, after seeing what Karkat had been packing, he felt much less nervous about his own normal human dick. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband off his boxers before shucking them off, tossing them aside as Karkat sits up enough to gawk at him. “Flesh rod.” The little troll states matter-o-factly, curiously running his fingers over the tender muscle. It’s a scary thing letting a troll with razor like claws touch his dick, but Karkat had learned early on how fragile human skin was, and had gotten used to being wary of his claws. Dave’s about average in length, nothing to laugh at, but certainly not packing anything like Karkat. 

Karkats hands are ridiculously warm as they encircle Dave’s dick, showing no signs of hesitance until a bead of pre-cum beads over the reddened head. Karkat blinks, leaning forward to tentatively lick at the bitter liquid, cocking his head curiously. **_Oh holy shit that’s hot._** Dave shudders and threads his fingers into Karkats hair, circling a thumb around the base of a nubby horn. He’d learned a few days ago how much Karkat liked his horns to be touched, and if Dave rubbed or licked them long enough he’d wind up with a mewling, purring, pile of troll.

The little troll continues to lap at the head of Dave’s dick, his tongue is rougher compared to a humans, but much, much warmer, and nearly twice the length; which shows when he manages to wrap it easily around the leaking head, causing Dave to cant his hips and unintentionally grip Karkat’s horn.  
After a few moments of gentle licking Dave decides they need to get the show on the fucking road, as much as he’d love to see Karkat’s baby face covered in spunk, he’d much rather finish their anatomy lesson first. He gently moves Karkat’s face away from his dick, kissing him on the mouth as he pushes him onto the mattress, flat on his back.  
It’s almost surreal. Karkat’s face for once isn’t a scrunched up scowl. His lips are parted slightly, soft grey cheeks dusted in a light blush as he wraps his arms around Daves neck. His ears lay flat against the side of his head, occasionally twitching nervously as Dave presses their foreheads together. In those cheap ass porn movies he’d secretly watched online, the couples always kissed as they entered eachother, which never really made sense to Dave. He wanted to hear Karkat, so when the little troll leans up to kiss him he ducks his head away, biting his ear gently before slowly rolling his hips forward.

It doesn’t go in the first time, his clumsy movements only end up rutting his aching erection against the nearly molten heat of Karkat’s throbbing nook. But it’s enough to make him groan, Karkat shivering at the feeling of Dave rubbing against his seedflap. 

“Fuck…pail me already…stupid **_fuckfuckfuck!_** ” Karkat’s voice is getting more desperate as he waits for Dave to enter him, claws digging painfully into the humans soft shoulder blades. Dave tries again, this time the tip of his head pressing against the warm wet entrance before _finally finally **finally**_ pushing inside the first few inches.  
Karkat’s entire body goes rigid, his hips pulling away from Dave as his grip tightens. His nook was made to accommodate the tapered end of a bulge, not the dull round head of a human penis. Dave pauses, kissing Karkats neck as his hands massage over his hips. He wonders if his alien boyfriend is actually ready for this, or if he should stop before he does any real damage.

He gets his answer when Karkat suddenly rolls his hips forward, forcing more of Dave inside. And _**holy fucking shit**_ it’s actually fucking pulling him in. Dave nearly loses his cool when he feels Karkat’s quivering nook literally pull more of him inside, the tight wet walls seem to be covered in tiny little bead like capsules (One of the books explained that this is where the internal fluids are housed) and they’re moving against his dick, practically _**vibrating**_ around him. His breath hitches and he has to pause for a moment, not just to let Karkat get used to the sudden girth inside him, but to wait for his own head to stop spinning from the sudden overwhelming wave of pleasure.  


_Cool kids don’t blow their load before the real fun get’s started._

The voice in his head reminds him that Karkat probably isn’t feeling that good yet. His face is contorted in a mixture of pain and a little bit of fear. Now that won’t do. Dave moves a hand from his hip to start squeezing at what’s left of Karkat’s bulge, which had begun to pull back inside, scared off by the sudden painful intrusion.  
“Dee-vuh…shitshit _ **shitfuckshit!”**_ Karkat’s nook loosens it’s grip the tiniest bit, his bulge slowly starting to unsheathe it’s self a little more. Dave take’s this as the okay to start moving, slowly pulling back before pushing back inside. Karkat’s hips lift off the bed, his short legs wrapping around Dave’s waist as he rolls his hips to meet Dave’s thrusts, face slowly softening into a less painful contortion.

“Holy fuck,Karkat…” Dave stops paying attention to the nervously squirming appendage currently curled against Karkat’s stomach, choosing to hold onto either side of Karkat’s hips as he starts to build up a slow, deep rhythm. Karkat’s breath hitches, small alternian phrases slipping out between breathy moans, claws digging hard into Dave’s shoulder as he rides out each thrust, nook tightening and throbbing around him.

It’s so _wet_ it’s almost hard to stay inside, genetic fluid beginning to leak around Dave’s erection, but from what he could tell Karkat hadn’t actually hit the big ‘O’ yet. That’s gotta change. Suddenly, and not quite so gently, Dave lifts Karkat off the bed, sitting up and pulling Karkat with him so he’s seated in Daves lap, hips still rolling up into that sweet fucking troll nook. Karkat practically fucking screams with pleasure from the new position. The change in angle affords Dave the ability to better rub against that bundle of nerves that would send Karkat to heaven. 

“Ya like that baby?” He whispers in a husky voice, sweat starting to line his brow as his grip around Karkat tightens, his thrust becoming less calculated and much harder. The inner walls of Karkat’s nook grip Dave until it’s almost hard to move, his breath coming out in ragged intervals as he presses his face against the humans neck, teeth dully scraping the sensitive skin. “Ya look like a fuckin’ doll. I wanna see you bruised up for me, begging and squirming for me to fuck you. Yeah, you like that,huh? Gonna fuck you ‘till you can’t remember anything but my name.” Dave had no idea he’d like dirty talk this much, and though Karkat doesn't quite understand everything Dave is saying, the warm sound of his voice against his neck is almost enough to send him over the edge.

Dave picks up the pace, practically slamming into Karkat, the unmistakable sound of skin on skin echoing through the room. It’s barely audible over Karkat’s rising voice, his words deteriorating to animalistic sounds and inhuman screeches of pleasure. So much for being quiet.  
Dave’s nails rake down Karkat’s back as he feels him grow impossibly tight, Karkat’s eyes wide and watery as he tries to word something, having difficulty due to his wanton moans. “Deevuh…bucket…” Dave just shakes his head, swiping his tongue over his lips as he kisses Karkat hard on the mouth, admiring the coppery taste of blood from Karkat biting into his lip.

“I’m your bucket tonight.” He purrs. And the thought is just so fucking dirty and taboo it’s just the right push to send Karkat spiraling over the edge, body stiffening as his head falls back, mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ as his nook practically rips Dave’s dick off, a sudden rush of genetic fluid spilling against their thighs and splattering against Karkat’s chest. He screams louder than Dave’s ever heard him, and that coupled with the overwhelming rush of heat and pressure help Dave reach his finish, ropes of warm spunk spilling inside of Karkat. Dave rides out his orgasm, making a soft groan, nothing compared to Karkat’s wails of pleasure, but in comparison he’d always been the quieter one.

After the stars begin to fade from his vision he looks down at the mess underneath him. And no fucking wonder they use buckets, because there is enough troll cum there to fill at least three. Dave lays back, pulling Karkat to the clean side of the bed, grabbing the trolls shirt to wipe off himself and Karkat, too tired that he’ll get yelled at for that later.  
He looks down at the warm bundle of troll in his arms. Karkat’s cheeks are flushed, his lips swollen and bruised, and he looks fucking gorgeous. He’s purring, fast asleep in Dave’s arms, and Dave’s not surprised. It would be exhausting to cum that much from one session, just the thought of it makes Dave tired.

He wraps himself around the tiny troll, rubbing soft circles in his back as he cradles his boyfriend, slipping into an easy sleep, dreams plagued with visions of octopus dicks and squirmy little trollgasms.


End file.
